The masks must go!
What a powerful statement!! One I am sure we all comprehend, identify with and believe is totally true. We need to shed the masks to become our true selves. But how many of us are really ready to see what is behind the masks, or why we wear them, or the bigger question…what are we hiding.
I was with a group of friends tonight, and this topic came up; the masks must go. After a couple of other women sharing their masks, and my feverously nodding my head…I started to think of my masks. When I shared, I thought I would play it safe… but my heart had a whole other idea: I wear masks of competence, cockiness, fitting in, intelligence, dummying myself down, sarcasm as a communication tool to hurt, silence and isolation and most of all… I wear the mask of my weight.
Masks are mechanisms we put on, take off, put on again and again and again…sometimes we double or triple up on them… so not to show what we are hiding; Fear. Fear of inadequacy, intimacy, insecurity, incompetence, being unlovable, or being unworthy. Behind the masks we can pretend, we can write the story any way we want. We can be charming or intelligent. We can be witty and have all the right things to say. We can say, “I am beautiful just as I am”. We can say anything we want… but we never believe it. We wear masks to feel safe, but we only feel safe when we have them on.
For me to heal, to really feel the power of my own safety… I need to throw away my masks. I need to learn to see myself in the mirror, to let myself make mistakes, to give myself permission to be myself. That will not be easy… I have come to depend on them. I covet them, and will fight anyone who threatens their inherent “safety”. So what if the “person” I am fighting is the real me looking to break free? Will I recognize her? Will I like her? Will anyone else? Will I be ok if they don’t?
All I know, is when I shared with my friends tonight… I wanted to know the freedom living through the fear. I guess when I go to put on one of my masks, I hope to tap into that longing. To see what I am hiding, and hope to let my masks go.
© 2008 Jodi Mathieu
jodimathieu
That is so true! I’ve always knows we have had masks everyone does in some form or another. I’ve noticed mine and I am trying to let mine go slowly. So far it seems to be working. I love your post! I can really relate to it!
Your blog is interesting!
Keep up the good work!
This happens to be a topic that I am sharing on tomorrow. And I have been asking myself, how much can I really reveal to a room full of men and women. Will I really be free or would I feel more isolated than before I opened my mouth.
Thank you for your words and your ability to share thoses fears I have been living with for many years.
Blessings.
Thank you for reading and more importantly…thank you for sharing your vulnerabilty. It takes a lot of courage to tap into those fears never mind consider “exposure.” I hope you were able to share the parts of you that need to be heard.
Blessed be,
Jodi